It has been a little over a month since I last "blogged", almost a month and a half. Things have definitely been crazy (not in a good way), but are finally looking up.
So when I last posted I was angry. Really, really angry. I pretty much went off on my blog about alot of things. However, as it turned out, alot of the things that I thought were true, really weren't. When the truth came knocking on my door, it slapped me in the face... hard. I felt naive, stupid, embarrassed, so many things, but more than anything, I was hurt. More hurt than when I wrote my last blog (which I deleted alot of it, now know knowing what I know). I'm hurt not only by the one who caused this, but also by hurt those that knew and said nothing. I pray that if I ever find out something to that magnitude, I will have the guts to say something rather than stand by watching the train wreck ensue. I imagine it can't be easy telling someone something like what they knew, but when it comes to someone's life and relationships on the line, it hurts when nothing gets said. Anyways, I dont want to discuss it anymore, nor will I ever discuss it again. I am focusing on now, and on the future. I don't want to look to the past (hence, the deleting of part of my post) and what has happened. We are healing wounds, and working to be even stronger and better than before.
To those that have no idea what I'm talking about, don't worry about it, because you won't find out, at least not from me (and hopefully those that know will not say anymore/anything). The important thing is that things are being done to resolve what has been done. To those that do know what I'm talking about because I needed a shoulder to cry on and I confided in you, thank you for being there for me. To those that were hurt because of all this, I'm sorry and embarrassed it all happened. To those that know but didn't tell me, I'm sorry for all that happened, but I'm hurt and embarrassed you didn't tell me. If we ever cross paths again in the future, I will say hello and treat you cordially and with the upmost respect. I hope to be treated the same in return, however, that will probably be the extent of it. To the one that hurt me the most and caused all of this, I will forgive you and know things will get better.
Like I said, things are slowly getting better. I'm happier than I was a month ago, so that is a good thing. I'm sad that all of this has come to leaving many friends behind. However, I'm positive that things will get better.
