Things weighing heavy on my mind....

Why does the idea of school throw me into such a tizzy? More than anything, I'd love to just stay at home with my girls, cook, sew, take them to activities. But the idea of working I enjoy too. I want to be a nurse, I DON'T want to work as hard as they want you to in order to become one. There, I said it. I want to have my cake AND eat it too. Does that make any sense? It's only 4 semesters of my life, but geez.... it's basically 8-5 Monday through Friday, and even some Saturdays with this program I am hoping to get into. It's a tough program, but it really is one of the best in the state. However, I don't want to miss out on anything with the 3-footer and the wee-1. I tell myself though, if I can just get through those 4 semesters, I'd only be working three 12-hour shifts a week. I'd have the other half of the week with the girls. Plus, I'd be making decent money. I know I would make a great nurse. I know that because other people have told me so, teachers, fellow students, family, friends... I know I would even without anyone telling me so, because I care about people. So I don't know what to do... put it off a little longer or get it over with. It's just making me ill. So here is what I'm thinking. I'm going to take the last two classes I need in order to fulfill the prerequisites. I'm thinking I'm going to apply for both spring and fall 2010 admission. I'm thinking I'd rather get in for fall, but wouldn't mind just getting it over with in by starting in the spring. If I get in, then it's because it is what's meant to be. If I don't, then that's it. I stay home with the girls. At least for now I stay home with them. I'm leaving it up to a higher authority now :)